Do you see what I see.

Summer daze. Sun so warm on your skin, you know you’re getting burnt but you cant move. You’re paralysed. It feels too good. Light sea breeze kicks in, just enough to cool you down a little. The sea is calling you. You get to your hands and knees. Even that seems like an effort. You can almost feel you’re skin crack as you move from the salty spray that has landed on your skin. You throw your sunnies off and blinded by the light, you head in the direction of the water. You know there is no other way than just to jump straight in. As I open my eyes under the water to see another world, just for a moment, I forget that any other exists.

2015 has been the best year of my life. I didn’t have one hospital admission, my hubby and I turned 40 and we celebrated with the biggest party created from a pure vision of love and joy. I went on 7 holidays, two on my own and I submitted a proposal to win a publishing deal with the Hay House group. I also became the manager of a shoe store I have been employed with for almost 5 years. In that time, they have seen me nearly die and end up on a dialysis machine, go through hell and back getting my old kidney removed and have a miraculous recovery receiving the gift of a new one. Never once allowing me to quit my job through those hard times, assuring me it would be there once I got back on my feet.

The way I got that job was a credit to the power of throwing caution to the wind. When we were moving to a new area, I sent my résumé out to the one place where I wanted to work in that little town. There was never a job going but I simply wrote a cover letter selling myself, my credentials and expressing my availability. As they say, the rest is history. It has been an absolutely rewarding and challenging experience going from being a team member to a team leader.  Five months into this gig, I am off to the shoe fairs to view next summers collections. For two days I get to walk around in the most current styles of shoes from all around the world. For most women, this comes pretty close to the idea of a happy place. I continue to be blessed and live the life I have always wanted. Grateful as always.

So 2016 has started pretty well for me. I rang it in with a group of girls with whom some I have known since age 11, dancing and laughing. I am loved, happy and healthy. I find out in 10 days if I have won any of the writing contracts of offer, given to participants of the writers workshop I attended in August last year. To have a chance to write my life story, just for living through two kidney transplants is overwhelming. My motto has always been ‘As long as there is life, there is hope’. I finally have the opportunity to explain to people how I have come out smiling and why Erin chose me to express her gratitude for her life. Clearly I have already won. What the proposal did was made me outline my story in depth. I now have clear chapters to work with and regardless of the outcome of the submission, 2016 will see me complete my memoir. How bloody exciting!!

Dan, Karri pup and I have big plans. We have so much to keep us grounded and content for the next 12 months or so but beyond that is great visions of seeing how far mine, and Erin’s story can take us. I hope one day I find the meaning of why there is so much bad. It goes without saying, by changing our own lives and living from a place of peace and love, that we certainly can influence our immediate worlds. It’s the ‘ripple effect’. This is what I hope my book will create. It’s the gift that Erin gave to me and no, it wasn’t her kidney. It was her love.

The real you is only visible when you are at your most vulnerable. Smile at a stranger, give some spare change to a cause you care about, sit down with a friend and allow yourself to open up then listen. Turn your favourite music up really loud and dance in the dark, (try it, It’s unbelievable), or just stop and take 5 minutes to be completely on your own doing something you love. Take a chance. Whatever it is, the outcome is all the same. In that moment, that space in time you let yourself go, you will feel the warmth and comfort of inner peace. It’s the essence of who we are. Its love. You will need to sacrifice two things to really feel it though. Ego and Fear. Try and avoid these two things when making decisions and see what happens. Go on, I dare you. xo


Me celebrating my kidneys 2nd bday. Feb 5th 2016.


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