My life 5 days ago is now a dream. I honestly can’t believe what I have been through the last 18 months. Leading up to the transplant, I kept saying, I can’t wait to wake up from this dream and be living with my new kidney. Now, I’m here, and it is just so beautiful. Only 5 days ago, I was plugging myself into bags, machines, only being able to drink a litre a day and living with a 30 cm tube sticking out of my belly. I was quietly suffering, but coping. I would go out with my friends and hold my head up high while I sipped on ice cubes while I watched them enjoying some social drinks. I would look at them and honestly wonder if I would ever be able to do the same one day. I also didn’t produce ANY urine. That’s right. I didn’t wee. I had the urge, but nothing ever came out. It was frustrating and I felt sad, but somehow I got used to it. I just passed my very first lot of urine, out of my own bladder which was produced from my very own kidney! I can only describe this feeling as amazing. Ive had a catheter in since the op to give my urether time to heal and get my bladder slowing getting used to being full again. Never complain about drinking too much water and weeing too much. This is what our bodies need to be healthy.
This second transplant has spun me out. Every second of the last 5 days, I have been lying here feeling like a white light of love is beaming right out of me. This kidney is working better than my mum’s ever did. I thought, being older and already going through once before, it would be tougher as i knew how hard it was going to be. But it’s not and that’s one of the reasons I feel so blessed. Firstly I have Dan. My love that I was lucky enough to have crossed paths with and married, who, to say is my soul mate, is an understatement. We are one. When I look at him, I see me. I have my family. I need to give them credit for bringing me up to believe that regardless of my illness, that I can achieve anything I want and it doesn’t have to define me. I am Maria who loves life, the beach, animals, laughing, dancing, not, I am Maria, living with kidney failure. I have my friends. They believe in me. They fill me with such high hope that I am strong enough to get through this, I only have one choice but to believe them. They convince me that I deserve this because I give to them a friendship that they respect and love so much. You go through life hoping your a good person. If I respect yourself and others, smile, be polite, friendly, humble and kind, in theory, you should attract the same type of people in your life and be happy. What’s overwhelming is that for being the person I am, because of what my folks taught me and my life experiences, someone gave up one of their kidneys for me.
Which brings me to Erin. Erin was two doors down from me and left after 3 days. She is happy at home recovering now. I have already said the reasons she wanted to do this but since the op, the impact we realise we have made to the universe is unbelievable. We have created a miracle that has inspired hundreds of people. The messages of love and astonishment that because we pulled this off, has changed people’s lives. Erin is being hailed as a hero, and I have been put on this pedestal of having unwavering courage, but the truth is, this is life. Life is beautiful, but in its extreme beauty it also has its sadness and extreme suffering. I have said this before, but by living with an illness, I have been lucky enough to understand that I choose not to waste my life on things that don’t matter. I try not to sweat the small stuff. I put things into perspective and its easy for me because I really only have the energy to worry about myself and the people that love me. We are born into this world alone and the only person that can get you out of your shit, is you. I’m not going to tone down what Erin and I have been through this last year, let alone the last few days. But we did it because firstly, we know the secret to life and secondly because we are bloody tough Wonder Women!
So you want to know the secret to life?…………smile on, pass it on…….Be present. Find your PASSION. Respect yourself and your body. Appreciate that you only live once. If you stress, make it productive for bettering yourself. Believe in miracles. Have courage to change the things you don’t like about your life. Be kind to everyone and especially yourself. Mediate. Dance. Do some form of exercise. Eat good, nourishing food. Spend time amongst nature and with animals….watch how children live so innocently without worry. Listen and learn. Trust that you are meant to be right here, right now. Listen to music. Spend time laughing with your friends. Kiss your partner. Hold hands. Have faith. Dream BIG. Trust health professionals if you need them. Swim. I honestly could go on and on but my best advice would be, don’t let the sad things in your life define who you are. Hold your head up high knowing that you are living your life to the happiest you can so you can be confident that your future will be bright.
I can say all that while my body is covered in bruises from all the needles I’ve endured the last few days. A new 30 cm wound on my right hand side to match my old one, which now creates a huge smile on my belly. A lifetime of anti rejection medication that have long term side affects, which I choose to ignore and believe won’t affect me. I’ve had to be the bravest I ever had, the moment I was wheeled into the operating theatre, trusting that everyone around me knew what they were doing. Waking up from the op, in excruciating pain so, so scared, waiting to hear those words, that the op went went well and my kidney was working. Erin and I have just been through an experience that only a handful of people will ever get to understand. We feel like a miracle has happened, and frankly, it has. I have a new, living, breathing organ, from someone I don’t know, working perfectly inside of me. This would not of been been possible without the precision of the surgeon and his team, the renal specialists and the beautiful nurses looking after me. This organ is going to take me around the world and make me a very happy lady. I get to go home today so as you can imagine, the minute I step out of this hospital, I have a new life ahead of me which looks pretty bloody special. Go and create your own miracle. They are all around you. Thanks Erin. Xxx